future: A Poem

 if you’re a look into my future
 then I don’t know what to think
 it doesn’t necessarily get better
 because nothing goes away
 but you seem to cope better
 or present better
 I don’t know
 what could I know?
 I’m not you
 it doesn’t matter how alike we are
 I might not even make it to your age
 a higher dosage
 you say?
 well maybe
 why not?
 can’t say I’ve tried everything
 until I’ve done it all
 I’m so tired of trying
 it’s exhausting
 all the thoughts running in my head
 on a loop
 never ending
 never running out
 like poisoned fish and loaves
 I’m always hungry
 and overfed
 and tired
 so tired
 haven’t I already made that point?
 stop me
 stop life
 I’m afraid to die
 afraid if there’s nothing
 more afraid if there’s only pain
 never ending
 on a loop
 but how would that be different?
 we all make our own hell on earth 

Photo by Anthony on Pexels.com

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