it’s like suddenly
I took this magic pill
and I was given the gift of reason
and all my fears seemed to disappear
my anxieties subsided
or at least they were dulled out
beneath the surface
the layer of fog
on top of all my other emotions
became lifted
suddenly I could feel
everything I was supposed to feel
everything that was numbed out
and only came alive
in the worst way
when I was in pain
when I was alone
but now
the apathy has come crawling back
with a vengeance
and I don’t even know
if I would call it a sadness
because I have nothing to blame it on
and the only people who understand
who feel the same way
and go through the same thing
don’t know what to do either
they tell me what I already know
so that I know I’m not alone
but there’s no answer
there’s no solution anyone can give me
and I’ve run out of ways to express myself
when he asks me
what is wrong?
because the answer is
honestly
nothing
I just don’t feel right
I don’t feel like myself
and sometimes
I don’t even know
who that’s supposed to be
your chest is the earth
my fingers are the roots
your breath is the air
my mouth is the ocean
your cells are the creatures
and my hair is the jungle
we create our own world
in our bed, the universe
you make my body relax
when you touch me
you give my body goose bumps
down my right thigh
when you kiss me on the neck
and hold my hair
at the nape of my head
I love it
when you touch me
find me where the angel stands
and the crow sings
and the raven waits
I can show you a world of sin
a world of pleasure
a world of love
all you need to give me
is you
-In a bowl, combine 2 cups light brown sugar, 3/4 cups flour, 2/3 cups cocoa powder, 1/2 cup chocolate chips, and 3/4 tsp salt. It’s easier to combine if you sift the flour and cocoa powder.
-In another bowl, whisk together 2 eggs, 1/2 cup melted butter, 2 TBS water, and 1/2 tsp vanilla. Make sure the melted butter is cool before you mix it.
-Combine the wet and dry ingredients.
-Add 1/2 cup cherry pie filling to the brownie mixture and stir well.
-Pour the mixture in a greased pan and smooth it flat. Tap the bottom of the pan on the counter to make sure there are no air bubbles.
-Bake at 350 degrees for 45-55 mins, or until a knife comes out of the mixture clean. The more moisture in the cherry pie filling, the longer you will have to bake it for.
-Enjoy! 🙂 ❤ xoxoxo
Photo by Anna Tukhfatullina Food Photographer/Stylist on Pexels.com
you’re my angel
he told me
but angels don’t give in
angels don’t have human hearts to share
or human souls to mate
I told him
meet me in the garden
between the bleeding hearts
and tell me all your secrets
show me all your scars
find me in the garden
where I’ll be waiting naked
for I have fallen deeply
bleeding just for you
Fudge It! 