I'm afraid
I've fallen
in love
with the sun.
I've transformed:
I'm water.
I can no longer stand tall.
Catch me
before
I slip through your fingers.
Catch me
before
I turn into ice.
I wish
I could be
unbreakable glass:
I could magnify your light.
Do I extinguish you
when you melt me?
Do I drown your energy?
He told me no.
He told me I soothe him.
And that's a relief to me.
Are you smart
because the world says you're smart?
Are you fit
because the world says you're fit?
If I call you my world,
is your opinion all that matters?
If I'm your world,
do my thoughts create life?
Let's make an offspring
so she can embody our best parts.
Let's say goodbye to this present world
and breathe life into our own.
In my mind
I'm always skinny.
Does that mean I have
good self-image
or does it mean
I want to disappear?
Which answer
makes me more
optimistic?
Which answer
makes me more
honest?
impenetrable skin
words cannot get in
gridlock teeth
and hot streams
of acid
down your cheeks
impossible girl
with armor for skin
don't swallow your words
but don't let them in
don't let others in
unless you want to feel
unless you want to hurt
unless you want to grow
They say to
write what you know,
so I can't write it
unless I've felt it
or done it.
Do you see my poetry
getting happier?
You're the poet of my life.
Write my story in your blood
and I'll write yours in mine.
I can't tell if my chest pain is
an anxiety attack or a heart attack.
What's the difference between
an anxiety attack and a panic attack,
anyway?
delusions
delusions
are all I think
when I close my eyes
zig zag
zig zag
prick my heart with a needle
so it can pop already
kabloom
Below are five poems that I have previously published on this blog, along with my interpretation of each poem.
wallflower
you have to make them
make room for you
or you'll never learn
how to fly
You deserve a seat at the table. Don’t wait for others to make space for you. You need to make room for yourself because you deserve it, and you deserve it now. You are enough, and you deserve to be accepted. Once you realize this, you will excel immensely.
I find myself constantly searching
for mothers and sisters in the women around me
and being let down all over again
when the wires don’t connect
it’s hard being disappointed by family
I’m someone who is always looking for mother-figures and sister-figures in my life. I grew up in a male-dominant household, so from a young age I’ve craved the guidance of female role models. Much like a child, I look at these role models through rose-colored glasses. Conversely, unlike a child, I am mature enough to recognize when these women don’t live up to the unrealistic standard I have set for them. Therefore, I set myself up for disappointment when the women I view as my mothers and sisters can’t fulfill my emotional needs.
close your eyes
until you bleed out roots of light
and sink into the earth
and fall asleep
I began practicing meditation to deal with my anxiety and depression. When I practice visualization techniques during meditation, I like to envision light that sparks from the center of my body and moves outward in the form of roots. When I become especially relaxed through meditation, I sleep incredibly well.
my thoughts are not bad
just because you don’t like them
and your god doesn’t like them
my god
likes me enough
just fine
just the way I am
who are
you
to tell me differently?
Your thoughts aren’t bad, even if you don’t like them; even if they can be unpleasant, sometimes. You and your whole self need to love who you are, no matter what others think of you.
your chest is the earth
your fingers are the roots
your breath is the air
your mouth is the ocean
your cells are the creatures
and your hair is the jungle
you create our own world
your very own universe
I wrote this about my Significant Other. He is my whole world; every part of him is a part of that world. We’re creating our life together, and I love it.
I ate the fruit just because it was forbidden
my spine is steel
my tears are oceans
my mouth is outer space
swallow me to feel big
cut me open and watch
as my blood and water pours out for you
my brain is god’s gift to my mad self