I could eat you for breakfast
 and still be grossed out
 to find you in my toilet 

 what if
 all this time
 we were wrong about the concept of sin?
 what if
 there are only good people
 bad people
 and a lot of in-between people?
 and what if
 most people can’t tell the type they are?
 there’s no use in labeling everything inaccurately
 live life
 as it is natural to you 

 I think I’m so angry now
 because I used to not understand the sin of wrath
 I thought god was the only exception 
 like only his anger could be justified
 and now that I know better
 I have a lot of anger to feel
 to make up for many numb and submissive years 

 your frown
 turns mine upside down
 you insignificant
 little man 

 if you’re a woman who says it’s easier
 to have daughters than sons
 let me ask you something
  
 is it easier to teach a woman how not to be raped
 than to teach a man
 how to not rape?
  
 I suppose the most difficult medicine to swallow
 is one’s own pride 
 and it doesn’t help
 if the rest of the world won’t help you
  
 and either way
 the loss of innocence is difficult to grieve 
 but one of those situations
 only acknowledges one’s loss of innocence
  
 some mothers care more about their own healing
 than the healing of their daughters 
 but in the end it feels like there’s nothing to fix
 if you can’t see what’s broken
  
 if you’re a woman who says it’s easier
 to have daughters than sons
 I hate you
 but probably not as much as you hate yourself 

 they profit
 off of everyone’s natural fear of death
 then heighten it 
 to an unnatural degree  

 think of your body as a voodoo doll for me
 you need to take care of yourself
 so you can care for me 

 make it stop
 make it stop
 make it stop
  
 the pills worked just long enough
 to give me hope
 to make me forget what it felt like
 to feel the way I’ve always felt
 and now I feel it like it’s the first time
 so fresh
 so rotten
 because it’s back after being years
 and moldy years of all I’ve known
 but I know better now
 and I want it to stop

 sometimes I rewrite things to feel better
 make lists
 order them
 rearrange them
 cross things off to document my small success
 the laundry is finally done
 hooray
  
 it’s like
 I need to see it to believe it
 to stop thinking about it 
 but half the time it doesn’t even work 
  
 blessed are those who believe without seeing
 for they actually believe there’s a kingdom 
 and that must be nice