disjointed members of an already broken body now there are two does that make a communion? or are we two broken pieces that fit nowhere?

disjointed members of an already broken body now there are two does that make a communion? or are we two broken pieces that fit nowhere?

cut me open and pour me out

it’s hell the way my mind ignores my reason

you pick at people like they’re scabs then wonder why their words sting you

sometimes I love you so much it hurts like my heart tightens and hurts in the way ripping a scab off new skin feels good but even though it only hurts sometimes I love you always scrapes and all

it used to make me sad: wondering if we’d be married in heaven wondering if our love could be so special that it would be allowed to last forever and at the time I would often wonder will I even go to heaven? how presumptuous of me what if you go there and I cannot follow? and now there are some days I wonder if I even believe in god at all but I always believe in you and I guess you’re a good enough answer to every question

you know how some people can tie a cherry stem into a knot inside their mouth? that’s how my insides feel when I see you but you don’t see me tying the knots

I just feel like I must fill the pauses in my speech with filler phrases for fear of losing a hand in the conversation

there is a power in my silence you’ll never understand

Below are five poems that I have previously published on this blog, along with my interpretation of each poem.
you have to make them make room for you or you'll never learn how to fly
You deserve a seat at the table. Don’t wait for others to make space for you. You need to make room for yourself because you deserve it, and you deserve it now. You are enough, and you deserve to be accepted. Once you realize this, you will excel immensely.

I find myself constantly searching for mothers and sisters in the women around me and being let down all over again when the wires don’t connect it’s hard being disappointed by family
I’m someone who is always looking for mother-figures and sister-figures in my life. I grew up in a male-dominant household, so from a young age I’ve craved the guidance of female role models. Much like a child, I look at these role models through rose-colored glasses. Conversely, unlike a child, I am mature enough to recognize when these women don’t live up to the unrealistic standard I have set for them. Therefore, I set myself up for disappointment when the women I view as my mothers and sisters can’t fulfill my emotional needs.

close your eyes until you bleed out roots of light and sink into the earth and fall asleep
I began practicing meditation to deal with my anxiety and depression. When I practice visualization techniques during meditation, I like to envision light that sparks from the center of my body and moves outward in the form of roots. When I become especially relaxed through meditation, I sleep incredibly well.

my thoughts are not bad just because you don’t like them and your god doesn’t like them my god likes me enough just fine just the way I am who are you to tell me differently?
Your thoughts aren’t bad, even if you don’t like them; even if they can be unpleasant, sometimes. You and your whole self need to love who you are, no matter what others think of you.

your chest is the earth your fingers are the roots your breath is the air your mouth is the ocean your cells are the creatures and your hair is the jungle you create our own world your very own universe
I wrote this about my Significant Other. He is my whole world; every part of him is a part of that world. We’re creating our life together, and I love it.
